Monday, November 07, 2005

Asshats in Sports

I love sports when they bring out the best in people, when they unite a community or divide it in a spirit of well played competition. With the huge sums of money involved and nearly unlimited media exposure there are some athletes I have come to despise. Whether it's abhorrent off field behavior or toxic self absorption her is my list of athletes I can't stand. Most all of them are gifted beyond belief.

#1 Barry Bonds. CHEATER. Speaks of himself in the third person, can change a light bulb by himself as long as the world revolves around him, not above using his children as rhetorical devices when needed, is alleged to have refused an autograph on racial reasons. Oh and I almost forgot he has more foreign male hormones in blood stream than Monica Lewinsky's dress.

#2 Manny Ramirez. SLACKER. While he's not as big a jerk as Bonds, (who is?) he is maddening when in his own words he is "Manny being Manny" which is to say be a gifted slugger who trots down to first, daydreams in the outfield, sits out important games in a funk and generally gives the impression that he has something more important to do. Here's a tip numbnuts you get paid a billion dollars a day for playing a child's game how about some bleeding effort? Take a look at David Ekstein, you have 30 times the talent but he plays the game better than you do.

#3 Pete Rose. GAMBLER/WHINER. The anti Manny, Charlie Hustle. Pete Rose is probably in the top five ball players of all time, but he gambled on baseball. He knows it, we know it. But instead of a genuine mea culpa, he parses it thinner than a Bill Clinton definition of "is". Come clean you low life, it's your only chance. And Pete, buy hats lots and lots of hats, never take one off.

#4 Terrell Owens. DISRUPTOR. I hate football so I don't much care how he affects the Eagles, but this guy is the working definition of asshat. Yeah he's good. So was Lou Gehrig but he didn't find it necessary to criticize his, team, team mates, organization, town, state, country , planet.... Talk about a prima donna, I hope he's flipping burgers in two years so he can appreciate how good he once had it.

#5 Roger Clemens. WEASEL. The Sports Guy says why:


dexter said...

Be careful your age is showing. The NBA has catered to a hip-hop image to increase its fan base for years. Now is the time to bite the hand that feeds it? Who cares what they wear? How about a dress code for NFL coaches? Bellichek?

Manny a slacker? Look at the numbers. So he doesn't run out a ground ball once in a while. He is still the best RBI machine in the majors over the past decade. It's just Manny being Manny and they knew that when they signed him. Red Sox had a chance to sign Eckstein by the way but they choose to spend 10 million dollars for Renteria and all his errors.

dexter said...

Suffice it to say that Manny does not belong in the group that you have lumped him with.