Monday, December 26, 2005

Cryptozoology And Other Unbelievable Stuff

Do you believe in Bigfoot, Loch Ness, Champ, Yeti, flying saucers? On a scale of one to ten where one is still possible but highly doubtful and ten is pretty much a sure thing here is how I rate the unbelievable.
Giant Apes, including Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch etc. TWO.
There has been some speculation that the sightings and folklore across a wide swath of the northern hemisphere may be Gigantopithecus, a species of gigantic ape that became extinct about three hundred thousand years ago. The coelacanth debacle tells us that it is possible for species to exist long after most experts thought they were long gone. A giant hairy ape is a lot more noticeable to us than a deep water fish, unless the species in question has evolved to hide from us. With all the yahoos running around the woods with high quality firearms you would think someone would have bagged one of these things by now so I doubt will be seeing concrete proof of these creatures in our lifetime.
Loch Ness, Champ, Ogopogo other aquatic oddities. THREE.
Like Bigfoot Loch Ness is thought to be a surviving example of a long extinct species, in this case plesiasaurus. Again these things are reputed to be seen in the northern hemisphere in very deep glacial lakes. The only reason I rated them a three is that it's easier to avoid detection in water. I still doubt we will be buying Nessie steaks at Trader Joe's anytime soon.
U.F.O. and Alien Abductions. NINE and ONE.
I'm pretty confident that somewhere in all the vastness of space there are other intelligent life forms but I am highly sceptical that they fly all the way here to probe the dark recesses of slack jawed yokels across the south west. The belief that our government could and would keep such a juicy story secret for so long is ludacris.

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