Talk Like a Pirate Day

Avast me hearties, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day, which leads to the long neglected filthy Parrot joke:

A man goes into a bar and says to the bartender, “If you give me free drinks all night, I’ll entertain your customers so they will stay all night and spend a fortune on drinks.”
“Oh yeah!” says the bartender. “How are you going to do that?”
The man pulls a hamster out of his pocket and puts it on the piano. The hamster runs up and down the keyboard playing the greatest piano music anyone had ever heard. “That’s incredible!” says the bartender.
Then the man takes a parrot out of its cage and puts it on the bar. The hamster begins to play the piano again and the parrot sings along - sounding just like Pavarotti. Everyone in the bar is amazed and stays all night drinking, enthralled by the hamster/parrot act.
The bartender is delighted. “I must have these animals. Will you sell them to me?” he asks, but the man shakes his head no. “Will you sell just one then?” asks the bartender.
“OK, I’ll sell you the parrot for $2000″ the man says. The bartender is delighted and hands over the money.
A bystander tells the now-former parrot owner, “You were crazy to sell that marvelous parrot for only $2000″.
“No way,” the man replied. “The parrot’s dumb as a stump; the hamster’s a ventriloquist!”